Zexion: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
by Lurking Beneath
Summary: Just purchased one of our ZEXION units and have no idea what to do with it? Never fear! Read these simple instructions and all your questions will be answered.


Disclaimer: I don't own Zexion or this writing format. They belong to SQUARE ENIX, Disney and Theresa Green.

Note: I haven't played CoM, so some of the information I have on Zexion might be wrong.

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Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a fully automated ZEXION unit! In order to ensure that you receive the full use and benefits of this unit, we require you to read the instructions below thoroughly and carefully.

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**Basic Information:**

Name: Zexion. Although reluctant, he will also respond to Zexi and occasionally Ienzo. Do not refer to him with some sort of ridiculous fangirl nickname (e.g. Sexy Zexi, Zexion-chan, Kawaii Zexi), for he will most likely freak out. If you continue to do so you will be labeled as an Obsessed Fangirl, and we will have to come and remove him. No refunds.

Sex: Male

Date of Manufacture: Unverified

Place of Manufacture: Radiant Garden, Ansem's Study Division

Race/Species: Humanoid Nobody

Height: Roughly 5.6"

Weight: Medium

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**Your ZEXION unit comes with the following accessories:**

Three pairs standard Organization Uniform

One Lexicon

Thirty books

One comb

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Once your ZEXION unit is removed from his box he will recognize you as his owner and enter annoyed mode. This mode will stay in place until you remove his Lexicon and pack of thirty books from the box and give them to him.

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**Programming:**

Your ZEXION unit is programmed to be able to do any of the following:

TUTOR: Your ZEXION unit was previously the youngest of Ansem the Wise's apprentices. He is extremely smart and with the right amount of tutoring, you will be at the top of your class in no time at all.

BODYGUARD: ZEXION units possess the powers of Illusion and can scare the crap out of any stalkers, enemies or annoying siblings you may have!

PARTY ATTRACTION: ZEXION units are very popular among fangirls due to their 'emo' appearance. The next time you have a party, spread the word that a ZEXION unit will be there and watch the girls flock to your doors!

BOYFRIEND: Although it is more difficult to unlock the Emotional mode for ZEXION units, it is highly worth it. If you are female and his type, he will almost certainly fall for you. Note: This mode will not work for any Obsessed Fangirls.

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**Modes:**

Your ZEXION unit is programmed with the following modes:

Bored (default setting)

Annoyed

Content

Depressed (level one lock)

Deadly (level two lock)

Happy (level four lock)

Emotional (level six lock)

Content and Bored mode seem similar and may be difficult to differentiate from each other at first, but there are a few distinct differences between the two. In Bored mode your ZEXION unit will usually just lie around and seek things to do to amuse himself. In Content mode your ZEXION unit will most likely be found holed up in a corner with a good book. In Content mode ZEXION units tend to be nicer to their owners and less irritable.

Depressed mode is activated when you ignore your ZEXION unit for prolonged periods of time. Cheer him up quickly by reassuring him that the world does not in fact hate him and give him a good book to read. If this doesn't work, hug him.

Deadly mode is activated when your ZEXION unit has been forced into Annoyed mode ten times in the last twenty four hours. Immediate evacuation reccomended.

Happy mode can only be activated when your ZEXION unit has everything he needs and feels wanted. Coaxing your ZEXION unit into Happy mode six times will result in the unlocking of Emotional mode.

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**Relationships with other units:**

RIKU: Your ZEXION unit will try to coax any RIKU units he sees to come and help the Organization. He will fail.

VEXEN: ZEXION and VEXEN units are friendly with each other for the majority of the time. However, ZEXION units tend to force VEXEN units into doing their chored for them.

LEXAEUS: LEXAEUS units and ZEXION units are friends, and interaction between the two will leave your ZEXION unit in a relatively good mood.

MARLUXIA: ZEXION units find MARLUXIA units extremely irritating. Interaction is not reccomended.

DEMYX: DEMYX units generally annoy the hell out of ZEXION units, but ZEXION units have more patience for DEMYX units. These two are good friends and your ZEXION unit will act friendlier around you if you own one.

LARXENE: LARXENE units enjoy teasing ZEXION units about their height. Interaction between the two will leave your ZEXION unit with a rather bruised ego.

AXEL: ZEXION units despise AXEL units. Interaction should be kept to a very bare minimum unless you want your ZEXION unit to die.

RIKU REPLIKA (REPLIKU): DO NOT ALLOW YOUR ZEXION UNIT TO BE HELD IN A ROOM WITH BOTH AN AXEL UNIT AND A REPLIKU UNIT FOR IT WILL RESULT IN THE LOSS OF YOUR ZEXION UNIT.

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**Cleaning:**

ZEXION units are fine with bathing themselves and will turn you down if you offer to help them. They may need help when it comes to washing their hair, though.

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**Feeding and Resting:**

ZEXION units, like all our other nobody units, do not require food nor rest. It does, however, keep them in a good mood. They have proven to be fond of dark chocolate.

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**Frequently Asked Questions:**

Q. My ZEXION unit won't pay attention to me! How can I get him to?

A. The only way to grab the attention of a ZEXION unit is by threatening to confiscate his books if he doesn't start socialising with others more.

Q. Help me! I've already managed to 'coax' my unit into Happy mode seventeen times, but he still won't fall for me! What am I doing wrong?

A. That depends. You probably just aren't his type, but he may see you as an Obsessed Fangirl. As said in the Modes section of this manual, Emotional mode cannot be unlocked by Obsessed Fangirls. Sorry, but there's nothing we can do. If you like you could try mess with your ZEXION unit's programming, but that may cause some malfunctioning.

Q. My ZEXION unit has eaten all the chocolate I have in the house and steals my money so he can go to theshop to buy some more! Is this a glitch in his programming or what?

A. -sigh- Yes, this is a glitch. Fortunately it is reversible. Whack your ZEXION unit over the head until he's unconcious and when he wakes up in the morning he'll be back to normal.

Q. I asked for a ZEXION unit, but instead I've got this seriously annoying silver-haired guy who walks around my house like he owns the place and prattles on about darkness!

A. You have been sent a RIKU unit by mistake. Unless you want to keep him, you can send him back and we will give you your ZEXION unit instead.

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Next should be... -drumroll-

...

...

...

Whoever of these three options is requested most by the readers! [HA! Worked you all up for nothing!]

AXEL

MARLUXIA

or LARXENE

Have fun choosing! Tell me who you want it to be in your review and that's who'll I'll post a guide for next. Any extra questions you want to add to the FAQ section should be posted in your review as well. (Please tell me that you want it posted in the FAQ, or I'll be confused. Thank you.)


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